From the archives.
Many single city women are crying foul because eligible bachelors are unwilling to settle down, even though these same guys date and sleep with them. To my fellow sisters, here is why men would rather spend the time with you in the sack, but not consider marriage.
When you earn Sh20,000 and live on the other side of Uhuru Highway, paying rent in excess of Sh30k, you will resort to soliciting money from men to maintain your expensive lifestyle. This paints you as an extravagant, careless and greedy chick, if not a gold-digger. Many men would shy away from a high maintenance woman, a woman who insists on holidaying in Dubai even when the man is up to his eyeballs in debt.
If you are that woman who knows all entertainment joints in the city and its environs, and probably can even identify their staff by name, you should not complain about not being hitched. Men don’t want to receive a money-milking text every Wednesday asking, “Babe what’s the plan today?” A party animal cannot make a good wife. You are the type likely to leave the kids at the mercy of the neighbours or house help.
Then there’s your fashion sense. Yes, he may be proud to introduce you to his boys in your hot little number. But have you ever wondered why he’s never thought of taking you to meet his mum? There can only be one Kim Kardashian, so don’t expect him to pull a Kanye and propose to you when you are always dressed like a stripper! Seems like there’s a very thin line between classy and trendy and trashy and ratchet.
Here you are with a certificate or diploma in an inconsequential course from a city college atop a pub, yet you seem quite content with yourself. A level-headed man would rather marry an emancipated, ambitious woman. Not the likes of you who splurge on Peruvian hair every two weeks! How about you reduce your expenses and instead enroll for a degree or master’s programme. If school is beyond you, there’s still the option of starting a business.
Our clueless city women would rather save money for VVIP concert tickets. Then they still have the nerve to make an SOS call the following morning begging that you bail them out with rent money. Jeez woman, have you looked at your jewellery collection and how much it is worth?!
Really, how do you expect a man to take you seriously? Drop the pettiness of instant gratification and consider investment. Plus, learn how to cook, because it’s just a matter of time before the man gets tired of your favourite Chinese take-outs. And you wonder why plain girls always seem to bag the man!
An intelligent woman makes for a stimulating life companion, not one whose claim to knowledge is the next plot in reality drama series.
Equality is not about fighting for the right to pee while standing, it is about knowing your place as a woman without your rights being infringed. When all you care about is asserting your ‘rights’ even in simple matters like house chores, you are definitely going to end up only with cats as your life companions!
Responsibility includes learning how to cook basic, decent meals and doing house chores. It does not matter how you were brought up or if you are a career woman, every man wants to come home to a warm, nicely prepared meal by his wife, not the mboch. If you delegate all duties to the house help, including making your bed because your manicure is too expensive to spoil, don’t complain if your man chooses the ‘auntie’ over you for a wife
Quit bugging the pastor with the same prayer request for a husband. All the prayers and fasting in the world will bear no fruit if you don’t want to be a woman. Stop tearing up every time you watch a wedding show and wish you were the bride. You won’t be, unless you change and do something. If you ever wish to be walked down the aisle, you need to be worth it.
Scophie is a freelance writer